Destroy This Book Has Erupted

You were warned. You knew it was coming. But perhaps I was naive to think you could ever be truly prepared.

Destroy This Book, the inaugural publication of the Universal Beliefs Project, has begun to make its presence known to the world. It has always been here, smoldering just under the surface, waiting for the right conditions to rupture its thin bubble of atmosphere and ignite the blaze. Sort of like the plot of Backdraft, but with ideas.

Do you think you can handle what this book will ask of you?

For more on Destroy This Book and the Universal Beliefs Project, visit

Little Ambling Things

I don’t know if you’ve given this much thought, but if every book, game, movie, comic, graphic tee, or humorous coffee mug about zombies were an actual zombie, we’d already be overrun. There would be no hope left for humanity. I have a feeling there’s not much hope left for humanity as it is. 2012 will bring about the zombie apocalypse, the total cultural extinction under the crushing ubiquity of the zombie subgenre. In my latest column for Innsmouth Free Press, I addressed a few of the questions most likely to occupy the tenacious philosopher kings who will emerge from the rubble in the years to come. For instance, who doesn’t like zombies?

Me, for one. That’s right, I have some sort of genetic resistance to the zombie-loving plague that seems to target anybody with at least one geeky chromosome. I don’t go all gushy over decomposing flesh. I don’t have a plan A, B, C, and Z for the coming zombie apocalypse. I don’t get any kind of shivers when the topic of cerebral gormandization is raised. Frankly, I die a little inside every time an indie developer makes another Flash game about shooting the undead.

Read the full column here.

On Wandering Tentacles, Gugs and Dugs

In 2009, Postmortem Studios developed what was, to my knowledge, the first ever pornographic competitive card game marrying (and honeymooning) H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos with bad puns and hentai art. A twisted threesome, to be certain. In 2011, I reviewed that game. A few days ago, Innsmouth Free Press was brave enough to publish my review. Here’s a sample:

Call of Cthentacle, from James Desborough’s imprint Postmortem Studios, is the kind of game that renders one absolutely speechless. That’s not just because it’s difficult to find words to describe a competitive card game that involves bestiality, buggery, tentacle rape, or graphic depictions of naked women caught in various compromising situations with elder things beyond mortal ken. There’s something that defies description about the blend of uncomfortably explicit hentai images, hilariously terrible Lovecraft puns, and gameplay so simple even the mindless Other Gods would have no trouble grasping it. It’s a real Byakhee of a card game: every time I begin to describe it, I hit upon something I cannot and must not recall.

Read the full column here.