Fortress of Solicitude

John DonneI want to be an insular community.

Like, I want every man to be an island.

Do you know what I’m saying?

Sometimes, what I really want is for my heart to be an enclave.

That would just be really nice, you know?

I haven’t read any Superman, but I think I understand the concept of a Fortress of Solitude,
where I would have plenty of time to catch up on my reading, Superman included.

I don’t know, maybe I’m not making myself clear.

I just really, really love you,
in that I’d love for you to go away,

but in the nicest way possible.


A New Challenger Approaches!


Celebrity Intervention

You know, I’ve always wanted to know…

What would my baby look like with a Celebrity™?
What would a Celebrity™ look like with my baby?
What would my baby look like with a Celebrity’s Baby™?

What if I had a baby with a Celebrity™?
What would it look like?
What if a Celebrity™ had a baby with me?
Would it look the same?
What would it look like driving my car?
What would it look like driving my Power Wheels™ car?
Would it become a Celebrity Car™?

What would my baby look like with Tom Hanks’ Nose™?
What if I had a baby with Tom Hanks’ Nose™?
What would Tom Hanks’ Nose™ look like on my baby?
What would my baby look like on Tom Hanks’ Nose™?

What would Tom Hanks’ Nose™ look like driving my Power Wheels™ Celebrity Car™?

What if I had a baby with the Biblical Adam?
What if I had a baby with the Biblical Eve?
What would the Biblical Adam and the Biblical Eve’s baby look like?
What would the Biblical Adam look like with Tom Hanks’ Nose™ driving my Power Wheels™ car?
What if the Biblical Adam and the Biblical Eve had a baby with a Celebrity™?
What would it look like?

What would a Celebrity™ look like with a Celebrity’s Baby™?
If a Celebrity™ had a baby with a Celebrity’s Baby™, and that baby had a baby with me–
What would my Celebrity’s Baby’s™ baby’s baby look like with my baby?

I have a right to know these things, don’t you think?

And what if my Celebrity’s Baby’s™ baby got the colic?
Could my Celebrity™ be sued for damages?
And what if my Celebrity’s Baby’s™ baby wound up on Celebrity Rehab™?
Would I have to pay my Celebrity™ a share of the royalties?
Do I have to grant my Celebrity™ visiting rights?
What if I want to give up my Celebrity’s Baby’s™ baby for adoption?
Do I have to obtain my Celebrity’s™ express written consent?

If I decided that I wanted to abort my Celebrity’s Baby’s™ baby,
because I was scared it would have Tom Hanks’ Nose™ and be sick all the time with the colic and wind up on Baby Celebrity Rehab™,
in how many states can my Celebrity™ legally intervene?
Does it matter if my Celebrity™ is a boy or a girl?

And one other thing….

If I decided that I wanted to abort my Celebrity’s Baby’s™ baby,
because I was scared it would have Tom Hanks’ Nose™ and be sick all the time with the colic and wind up on Baby Celebrity Rehab™,
and my Celebrity™ wanted to intervene,
and my Celebrity™ and I decided to have a baby with the presiding physician and the Federal Court judge who ruled on the case,
do either of them have the right to intervene,
and what would the baby look like?

I’ll bet it has my eyes.

http://www.morphthing.com/celebrity/78075456-Lindsay-Lohan-Ayumi-Hamasaki-John-Mayer-Jamie-Lee-Curtis-Ben-Stiller-Charlie-Sheen-Jessica-Alba-Hayden-Christensen-JK-Rowling-Heidi-Montag-Bow-Wow-Kevin-Spacey-Lucy-Lui-Audrey-Tautou-Sting-Alexis-Bledel-Winona-Ryder-Joe-Jonas